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A poem(?) 

I’m struggling, but I won’t say a word.

I’m falling to pieces, but I’ll smile and laugh.

The tears are rolling down my cheeks, but I won’t make a sound.

My mind and body are exhausted, but I’m always here to help. 

I’m terrified of tomorrow, but  I’ll never let you down. 

My days are filled with self hatred, but I’ll always tell you to love yourself. 

I can barely make it through the day, but I’ll always make sure you get through yours. 

I relapsed again, but I’ll never tell.

I want to tell you how much this hurts, but I can’t.   

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advice, Uncategorized

I’m going insane?!

Like I genuinely slept for 12 hours last night but I feel so out of it. Like everything is just happening around me and I’m watching from the outside. Very odd.

 It’s been so hectic in work and it’s got to the point where a spelling mistake can make your day. Still forcing myself to stay positive, after all, a day can only last 24 hours. 

I also watched a program called “stripped bare” last night where they literally take away everything you own and you choose an item at a time to get back and it sort of really put into perspective what is most important and how materialistic people can actually be. Like I kinda really want to get rid of everything because I feel like cluttered surroundings means a cluttered brain.. Idk tho just a theory.

Anyways speak to you next time, goodbye for now little buns 

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advice, how to, Uncategorized

How to; be happy 

Okay so let’s just like chill for a sec. Whatever may be going on, or whatever you are worrying about, forget it, block that out of you memory just for a sec. Now, soak up your surroundings. I mean I’m in work but we have really bright and matching highlighters that make everything look lovely, people playing all kinds of instruments at all different levels of ability, and a glimpse of the trees outside. For just a second, you can make all those little things matter, you can appreciate them and think about how everything that you do is ultimately your choice and we are so small and insignificant in proportion to the rest of the world. You have to appreciate everything, let yourself  smile at the simplest of things, it’s okay to be happy. So many people are negative about people’s looks, interests, and even the fact that they seem to be getting some sort of joy out of life but that doesn’t reflect on you, it reflects on them. Be that person who smiles at strangers, pulls funny faces at babies, smells the flowers on their journey home; make the most of your surroundings, even if it takes you 10 minutes to think of something even slightly positive. If you constantly tell yourself everything is awful, it most likely will be, but if you have a positive mindset and lift your mood, I can guarantee it makes things SO much easier. Do things for yourself, not for someone else. You matter, you are important, and you need to be happy. You only get one life (supposedly), live it how YOU want to. Be positive, be accepting, and be happy. I may still have 3 and a half hours left of work but I’m fortunate to have a job, with some great people, and be able to watch children and adults learn. And I can just picture giving my boyfriend a great big hug when I get home! Goodbye for now little buns, much love 

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