Uncategorized, Update

I hate myself. 

I always try to promote positivity and self love. I smile, laugh and pretend that everything is fine and that I live a normal, happy life. But that’s far from the truth.

As much as I try and convince myself otherwise, I hate myself. I very strongly, whole heartedly, hate myself. I find myself disgusting, repulsive and just an absolute mess of a human being. 

Sure, I know that I’m a good person, but my body is something that I just completely loathe. I can honestly say there isn’t one part of my body that I like, apart from my right eyebrow in a mirrored image if that counts. 

I’ve spent night after night searching online how to lose weight, what the best methods are, what the new fads are, and even whether I should just starve myself. I sit on the internet for hours, lost and completely numb. No matter what I do now, it doesn’t work. In late 2015 I lost a lot of weight and was happy, but here I am, just over a year later and a whopping 5 stone heavier, disgusted at myself for what I have become. 

I hate myself. 

Goodbye for now little buns, hopefully I can make a change 

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Uncategorized

10 things guys do that girls hate

Now, I see a lot of these videos on youtube but normally done by guys themselves, so it only seems logical that an actual girl express her feelings on how exactly guys p*ss her off! I’m too awkward to sit in front of a camera so here I am on my blog! I just want to say that I’m not a stereotypical white teenage girl who hates all boys, think of this as me helping you boys to not p*ss a girl off 😉 ALSO I’m not going to tell you to change the way you are just for someone else, but some of these will make you a better person and will make girls and guys like you more, its your choice which pointers you want to listen to or if you just want to tell me to p*ss off, either way- enjoy!

1. Being messy. I live with my brother and the most irritating thing he does is not clean up after himself. Like seriously guys, here’s some pointers when it comes to going the loo: wipe the seat if you’re a bad aim, put the seat down because like hell do I want to touch it, and F L U S H. Its really not that hard. Just pick up after yourself, put wrappers in the bin, clean the kitchen counter if you spill something on it, pick up your towel after having a shower, pleeease?

2. Being inconsiderate. Just because something doesn’t mean that much to you, it may mean a hell of a lot to someone else (this goes for girls too). For example, as me and my Mum are vegetarians we bought our own two plates so that no meat goes on them. Now, in our house, we have about 60 plates, and I’m not exaggerating- I have no idea where they all came from or why we need that many but I’m getting a little off topic here. So yeah, back to our veggie plates, for some reason my brother insists on using them to heat meat up in the microwave!!! The worst is pepperoni when all the red greasy juices go all over the plate or frozen chicken when it looks like there’s little bits floating in the juices- disgusting. I ask him time and time again why he does it and he just could not give less of a f*ck! Me and my Mum aren’t fussy eaters, its all for a reason. Please just have some consideration, especially if there are 58 other plates to choose from.

3. When you say something because you feel you have to. You may ask “How are you?” but in reality you don’t really care. If you don’t care then don’t ask for the sake of it, girls think about things a lot (far too much) so if you are doing it just to be nice and there is no actual feeling behind it then just don’t do it because I’m not really going to tell you how I feel if you really don’t care.

4. Telling a girl they look fine. “Fine” sounds like a sort of, “it’ll do”. If a girl asks if they look nice, don’t respond with “you look fine”, say “you look lovely”, or if you really want to push the boat out use “gorgeous”, “amazing”, “beautiful”- d’you get me? It will really make the girl feel special and will make her day!

5. Not listening or remembering things. Now, obviously girls don’t expect you to remember their shoe size, the exact date they left school or a distant cousins birthday. But if a girl has to answer the same question or tell you the same thing multiple times it will piss them off and link back to number 3, as if you don’t really care. For example, someone who I haven’t seen in about 5 years is constantly asking me what I’ve been up to and when I tell her that I’ve been for interviews she is constantly asking what for, its just irritating and a waste of my time because you don’t reeeeally care, you’re just nosey.

6. When you go from being confident to being arrogant. Everyone loves a bit of confidence, it makes the girl feel comfortable and like she does have to try and lead the situation. However when it goes from being confident to being arrogant, she will slowly start to hate you. Being able to be centre of attention and not be embarrassed is great, being happy with who you are and loving yourself is great, but constantly HAVING to be centre of attention and being up your own a*se is not so great,

7. Showing off constantly. I get that you want to show off to impress someone, but when you are constantly like “GYM ALL DAY EVERY DAY WOW I CAN BENCH PRESS SO MUCH LOOK AT MY MUSCLES” yeeeeah that’s annoying.

8.  When you assume everything we do is for you. Now I have had many conversations with my brother about this and each time I get far too annoyed. Not everything  a girl does is to impress a boy. I don’t wear make up to impress anyone else, I like doing and wearing make up and it makes me feel confident. I don’t wear a nice dress to impress anyone else, it just makes me feel pretty and girly and I like it! Everyone likes to look good, right? I’m also not bothered if you think swearing isn’t “lady like”, why are you allowed to swear and I’m not?

9. Sexist jokes at the wrong time. I have to be honest with you, I kinda like jokes that shock you and make you gasp and like you don’t want to laugh, but if I am clearly having a sh*tty day I don’t want you to then ask me to make a sandwich. Its not funny.

10. And last but most certainly not least- ITCHING YOUR PEE PEE IN PUBLIC. Shock horror, girls get itchy privates too, and even itchy boobs, but I am sure as hell not going to stick my hands down my pants or down my top to itch it. Some guys even just keep their hands there? Why? Are you insecure about its size or are your hands just cold? I don’t get it. Please, stop.

So this is what I needed to just get off my chest (I apologise for the bad language but it seriously grinds my gears). I could go on forever but I think we’d all get a little fed up, good bye for now little buns!

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