Uncategorized, Update

I hate myself. 

I always try to promote positivity and self love. I smile, laugh and pretend that everything is fine and that I live a normal, happy life. But that’s far from the truth.

As much as I try and convince myself otherwise, I hate myself. I very strongly, whole heartedly, hate myself. I find myself disgusting, repulsive and just an absolute mess of a human being. 

Sure, I know that I’m a good person, but my body is something that I just completely loathe. I can honestly say there isn’t one part of my body that I like, apart from my right eyebrow in a mirrored image if that counts. 

I’ve spent night after night searching online how to lose weight, what the best methods are, what the new fads are, and even whether I should just starve myself. I sit on the internet for hours, lost and completely numb. No matter what I do now, it doesn’t work. In late 2015 I lost a lot of weight and was happy, but here I am, just over a year later and a whopping 5 stone heavier, disgusted at myself for what I have become. 

I hate myself. 

Goodbye for now little buns, hopefully I can make a change 

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Uncategorized

I cut off my hair?!

Having any sort of mental illness means that urges are strong and frustrating. For months I’ve had such a need to shave my hair off, it felt like it wasn’t even an option, it was something I had to do, but apparently people will “worry” and think I’ve “gone mad”.

 So yesterday I sat down and chopped my hair off. I didn’t go too drastic but even so it felt liberating. Just being able to cut away something that is so easy to become attached to, and forget it ever existed. If you’re contemplating this- go for it! 
Here’s my before and after- 


That was it in a pony and then a fishtail braid, probably just past my boob..


And this is it now! I’m hoping to upload the video of me cutting it off as soon as possible. Hope you like it! 

Goodbye for now little buns! 

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Uncategorized

WHY 

Okay so I was having a fab time when I found a “beauty outlet” shop with Stila products that were practically half price, I grabbed a ton of it and just before paying texted my mum to check if it was vegan. 

But no, they decide to rub make up in little bunnies eyes to make sure we can slap it on our face. When did our vanity become more important than an animals quality of life? It pisses me right off. 

But anyway I got some B. face wipes which I ran out of decades ago so my face will thank me for that. 

I’m thinking of doing a giveaway at 250 followers, what kind of things would you be interested in? Let me know! 

Goodbye for now little buns! 

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Update

I almost died

Okay maybe that was a slight exaggeration 

But hey long time no..type? Basically I was on holiday and then in hospital because my bowl decided it didn’t want to work any more,cuuute. 

Anyway I’m trying to really be nice to my body and I’ve already lost a pound in a couple of days HOLLAAA. I’m obviously vegan but I am actually paying attention to what I put in my body now, sticking to whole foods and a HCLF lifestyle, and I have to say, I’m loving it. It’s difficult with constant temptations of donuts, crisps, chocolate etc, but I know I am nourishing my body and soon that will show on the outside. 

This  was yesterday and I was so full, let me know if you have My Fitness Pal  so we can be friends!

What type of posts are your fave to read? I know which ones I prefer doing but it’s not all about me now, is it? 

Lol goodbye for now lil buns! 

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advice, beauty, how to, makeup, Uncategorized, youtube

How to: be poor

As you can probably tell there was a little bit of sarcasm in the title but in all seriousness though I have 12p. However, being skint, doesn’t mean that you can’t do anything. 

I’m the type of person who “hates everyone” (mainly when I’m in town) unless I have chosen them as a friend- some people just have no common sense and get in the way, like what are you dooooing. But yeah, the people I choose to spend time with are great and I could spend everyday with them. 

So here’s some cheap/free activities to do with your chosen people;

Go on a walk; I know this is probably pretty obvious but sometimes it’s nice to just be out the house, soaking up your surroundings and having a good chat

Girls night; now, if you’re prepared, this can be dirt cheap. Root through your freezer for food that you can cook in advance and have out to snack on. Face masks can be easily made at home with your average household kitchen items, and if a bit of a chocolate face mask accidentally drops into your mouth then you just have to eat it don’t you. I’m guessing you probably have a, or some, nail varnish- nail art can be done using toothpicks and Bobby pins, and can take some time. And lastly, chuck on a good chick flick, you can’t go wrong.

Film/post; if you’re a blogger or YouTuber, getting your friends involved in your posts or videos can be pretty fun, and free if you already have the equipment, and considering you are reading this on some sort of phone or laptop, you probably do! 

Chill; whether this is done in a park, garden, living room, some chill time is always good. Sunbathing, watching TV, or grabbing a coffee (for those with at least £2.50) is always much better with company. Recently I have been trying to meditate often,it lets your mind rest and when done with others can be quite an experience. 

I hope this fuelled your mind to think of some free activities, it’s always nice to spend time with you’re friends, family and one your love. Stay positive. Goodbye for now little buns! 

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advice, Uncategorized

I’m going insane?!

Like I genuinely slept for 12 hours last night but I feel so out of it. Like everything is just happening around me and I’m watching from the outside. Very odd.

 It’s been so hectic in work and it’s got to the point where a spelling mistake can make your day. Still forcing myself to stay positive, after all, a day can only last 24 hours. 

I also watched a program called “stripped bare” last night where they literally take away everything you own and you choose an item at a time to get back and it sort of really put into perspective what is most important and how materialistic people can actually be. Like I kinda really want to get rid of everything because I feel like cluttered surroundings means a cluttered brain.. Idk tho just a theory.

Anyways speak to you next time, goodbye for now little buns 

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advice, how to, Uncategorized

How to; be happy 

Okay so let’s just like chill for a sec. Whatever may be going on, or whatever you are worrying about, forget it, block that out of you memory just for a sec. Now, soak up your surroundings. I mean I’m in work but we have really bright and matching highlighters that make everything look lovely, people playing all kinds of instruments at all different levels of ability, and a glimpse of the trees outside. For just a second, you can make all those little things matter, you can appreciate them and think about how everything that you do is ultimately your choice and we are so small and insignificant in proportion to the rest of the world. You have to appreciate everything, let yourself  smile at the simplest of things, it’s okay to be happy. So many people are negative about people’s looks, interests, and even the fact that they seem to be getting some sort of joy out of life but that doesn’t reflect on you, it reflects on them. Be that person who smiles at strangers, pulls funny faces at babies, smells the flowers on their journey home; make the most of your surroundings, even if it takes you 10 minutes to think of something even slightly positive. If you constantly tell yourself everything is awful, it most likely will be, but if you have a positive mindset and lift your mood, I can guarantee it makes things SO much easier. Do things for yourself, not for someone else. You matter, you are important, and you need to be happy. You only get one life (supposedly), live it how YOU want to. Be positive, be accepting, and be happy. I may still have 3 and a half hours left of work but I’m fortunate to have a job, with some great people, and be able to watch children and adults learn. And I can just picture giving my boyfriend a great big hug when I get home! Goodbye for now little buns, much love 

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