Uncategorized, Update

It’s been a long time.. (Update)

Hi, I don’t remember last time I was on here, nor do I want to look. I know I enjoy writing, but it takes a lot of motivation to start. I’m not making any promises to myself, but I will just write when I want to, or when I need to.

I finished college, so I am finally a qualified makeup artist, but I’m struggling to get a job at the minute as I have no retail experience and unfortunately that is looked more highly upon, no matter your qualifications. However I am thinking of going to University next September to study Creative Makeup, and actually get a degree, which I never thought would happen!

I’ve started therapy again, for the fourth time, and hoping that I feel better and get taught better coping mechanisms for when I’m finished.

Tomorrow it is mine and my boyfriends 2 year anniversary and I couldn’t be more grateful to have someone who understands me and supports me through everything. Even in my darkest hours, he’s always there. A lot of people talk about love like its absolutely perfect, but it’s not. You have your little spats here and there, and go through some tough shit, but you do it together, and still love each other just as much.

I’m also raising money for my friend and his brother by shaving my hair off on the 27th of November! If you would like to read about their story and donate click here! Any donation will help so much, whether its £1 or £10.

Other than that, I don’t really know much of what I’m doing right now, but that’s okay. I don’t need to have a plan for everything.

Goodbye for now little buns.

 

 

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Uncategorized, Update

I hate myself. 

I always try to promote positivity and self love. I smile, laugh and pretend that everything is fine and that I live a normal, happy life. But that’s far from the truth.

As much as I try and convince myself otherwise, I hate myself. I very strongly, whole heartedly, hate myself. I find myself disgusting, repulsive and just an absolute mess of a human being. 

Sure, I know that I’m a good person, but my body is something that I just completely loathe. I can honestly say there isn’t one part of my body that I like, apart from my right eyebrow in a mirrored image if that counts. 

I’ve spent night after night searching online how to lose weight, what the best methods are, what the new fads are, and even whether I should just starve myself. I sit on the internet for hours, lost and completely numb. No matter what I do now, it doesn’t work. In late 2015 I lost a lot of weight and was happy, but here I am, just over a year later and a whopping 5 stone heavier, disgusted at myself for what I have become. 

I hate myself. 

Goodbye for now little buns, hopefully I can make a change 

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Update

I almost died

Okay maybe that was a slight exaggeration 

But hey long time no..type? Basically I was on holiday and then in hospital because my bowl decided it didn’t want to work any more,cuuute. 

Anyway I’m trying to really be nice to my body and I’ve already lost a pound in a couple of days HOLLAAA. I’m obviously vegan but I am actually paying attention to what I put in my body now, sticking to whole foods and a HCLF lifestyle, and I have to say, I’m loving it. It’s difficult with constant temptations of donuts, crisps, chocolate etc, but I know I am nourishing my body and soon that will show on the outside. 

This  was yesterday and I was so full, let me know if you have My Fitness Pal  so we can be friends!

What type of posts are your fave to read? I know which ones I prefer doing but it’s not all about me now, is it? 

Lol goodbye for now lil buns! 

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Uncategorized, Update

Im useless

Lol bet you didn’t see that coming- me, Chloe French, not posting for months on end? Mad isn’t it, I mean that hasn’t been the topic of my last like 10 posts or anything, no not at all. I mean, sorry, again. HOWEVER I was thinking about it, and I do call this my public diary, so why do I care so much what I write about and when? I think I’m just going to post random things as and when they pop into my head. It could mean that my blog will now be totally different but oh well- I think I’m back on the scene, goodbye for now little buns, but let me assure you- not for long. 

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