advice, hair, youtube

I shaved my hair off!!

Hello there, and happy new year! Hope you’ve had a great start to the year.

On the 27th of November I decided to shave my hair off! I managed to raise £542 in total for the Mutch brothers which I am absolutely over the moon about!

I did film myself shaving it off so if you would like to see that video then click here

It’s not something that I’ve ever done before and the shortest I’ve had my hair before this was a bob! I had no idea what to expect but honestly I am so glad that I did it. It’s a whole new experience and saves a LOT of time in the morning! I keep getting complimented and people are asking about it, and saying that they would love to do it too.

If you’ve ever thought about shaving your hair but have been too scared then I say go for it! After all, hair grows back ❤

 

Goodbye for now little buns

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Uncategorized, Update

It’s been a long time.. (Update)

Hi, I don’t remember last time I was on here, nor do I want to look. I know I enjoy writing, but it takes a lot of motivation to start. I’m not making any promises to myself, but I will just write when I want to, or when I need to.

I finished college, so I am finally a qualified makeup artist, but I’m struggling to get a job at the minute as I have no retail experience and unfortunately that is looked more highly upon, no matter your qualifications. However I am thinking of going to University next September to study Creative Makeup, and actually get a degree, which I never thought would happen!

I’ve started therapy again, for the fourth time, and hoping that I feel better and get taught better coping mechanisms for when I’m finished.

Tomorrow it is mine and my boyfriends 2 year anniversary and I couldn’t be more grateful to have someone who understands me and supports me through everything. Even in my darkest hours, he’s always there. A lot of people talk about love like its absolutely perfect, but it’s not. You have your little spats here and there, and go through some tough shit, but you do it together, and still love each other just as much.

I’m also raising money for my friend and his brother by shaving my hair off on the 27th of November! If you would like to read about their story and donate click here! Any donation will help so much, whether its £1 or £10.

Other than that, I don’t really know much of what I’m doing right now, but that’s okay. I don’t need to have a plan for everything.

Goodbye for now little buns.

 

 

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Uncategorized, Update

I hate myself. 

I always try to promote positivity and self love. I smile, laugh and pretend that everything is fine and that I live a normal, happy life. But that’s far from the truth.

As much as I try and convince myself otherwise, I hate myself. I very strongly, whole heartedly, hate myself. I find myself disgusting, repulsive and just an absolute mess of a human being. 

Sure, I know that I’m a good person, but my body is something that I just completely loathe. I can honestly say there isn’t one part of my body that I like, apart from my right eyebrow in a mirrored image if that counts. 

I’ve spent night after night searching online how to lose weight, what the best methods are, what the new fads are, and even whether I should just starve myself. I sit on the internet for hours, lost and completely numb. No matter what I do now, it doesn’t work. In late 2015 I lost a lot of weight and was happy, but here I am, just over a year later and a whopping 5 stone heavier, disgusted at myself for what I have become. 

I hate myself. 

Goodbye for now little buns, hopefully I can make a change 

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Uncategorized

I cut off my hair?!

Having any sort of mental illness means that urges are strong and frustrating. For months I’ve had such a need to shave my hair off, it felt like it wasn’t even an option, it was something I had to do, but apparently people will “worry” and think I’ve “gone mad”.

 So yesterday I sat down and chopped my hair off. I didn’t go too drastic but even so it felt liberating. Just being able to cut away something that is so easy to become attached to, and forget it ever existed. If you’re contemplating this- go for it! 
Here’s my before and after- 


That was it in a pony and then a fishtail braid, probably just past my boob..


And this is it now! I’m hoping to upload the video of me cutting it off as soon as possible. Hope you like it! 

Goodbye for now little buns! 

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A poem(?) 

I’m struggling, but I won’t say a word.

I’m falling to pieces, but I’ll smile and laugh.

The tears are rolling down my cheeks, but I won’t make a sound.

My mind and body are exhausted, but I’m always here to help. 

I’m terrified of tomorrow, but  I’ll never let you down. 

My days are filled with self hatred, but I’ll always tell you to love yourself. 

I can barely make it through the day, but I’ll always make sure you get through yours. 

I relapsed again, but I’ll never tell.

I want to tell you how much this hurts, but I can’t.   

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WHY 

Okay so I was having a fab time when I found a “beauty outlet” shop with Stila products that were practically half price, I grabbed a ton of it and just before paying texted my mum to check if it was vegan. 

But no, they decide to rub make up in little bunnies eyes to make sure we can slap it on our face. When did our vanity become more important than an animals quality of life? It pisses me right off. 

But anyway I got some B. face wipes which I ran out of decades ago so my face will thank me for that. 

I’m thinking of doing a giveaway at 250 followers, what kind of things would you be interested in? Let me know! 

Goodbye for now little buns! 

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Update

I almost died

Okay maybe that was a slight exaggeration 

But hey long time no..type? Basically I was on holiday and then in hospital because my bowl decided it didn’t want to work any more,cuuute. 

Anyway I’m trying to really be nice to my body and I’ve already lost a pound in a couple of days HOLLAAA. I’m obviously vegan but I am actually paying attention to what I put in my body now, sticking to whole foods and a HCLF lifestyle, and I have to say, I’m loving it. It’s difficult with constant temptations of donuts, crisps, chocolate etc, but I know I am nourishing my body and soon that will show on the outside. 

This  was yesterday and I was so full, let me know if you have My Fitness Pal  so we can be friends!

What type of posts are your fave to read? I know which ones I prefer doing but it’s not all about me now, is it? 

Lol goodbye for now lil buns! 

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